


Blink and You'll Miss It

by Greenspoons



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Thunderblink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 03:46:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12673755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenspoons/pseuds/Greenspoons
Summary: The smell of ozone still lingers in the air, long after the damning significance of her words has faded to a whisper in his ear. Or has it? John tries his best to cope.





	Blink and You'll Miss It

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during S1E6. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, and lemme know your thoughts on it

_"Without Clarice? Guess not everything requires a portal."_

At first, he isn’t sure if he heard her right. But, he takes a glance at her and knows the sentiment to be true.

Suddenly he feels a flash of something intense and primal.

Unexpected. Unbidden.

It surprises him that he would feel such indignation on Clarice’s behalf.

"What you did— what _we_ did to her, it was wrong," he says, looking up at Sonia. He expects understanding for the guilt he was feeling, hoping that she feels the same way too. They should be better than this and beyond using one of their own to such violative extent.

But he sees no understanding, no sympathy and no guilt. If anything, there is only the trace of a woman who still loves him even after all this time. One who sees in him the promise of a future together. Of a victory for all of mutantkind. Of not having Clarice anywhere around him or in the headquarters.

"Was it? Because it saved lives," she says, convinced that the end always justifies the means. Her forest green eyes had taken on a flinty edge. If he is being honest with himself, it reminds him of mosses on rocks, the kind which seems to only exist to make you slip and fall.

"We kept the truth from her," he argues, noticing that a part of him doesn't want to carry the burden of their actions. Because if Sonia isn't, then why should he be?

But much as he likes to believe in that logic, and in plausible deniability, John knows he is complicit in the act. After all, he knows better than anyone that Dreamer would do whatever it takes for him. And he is grateful to be alive, to continue doing his part for the Mutant Underground. 

"She would have left earlier and people would have died." Sonia says, one well-shaped brow slanted in disapproval. This he couldn't disagree with and his silence spoke volumes. She takes his silence as a sign of her being right and promptly throws the subject of Clarice out the proverbial window.

"Johnny," she says, and her hand is on his face. He feels her touch, a reminder of all she has been for him in the years they were together. A lover, a listener, a comrade, and a friend.

***

Later in the night, when everyone else is asleep, John's thoughts take a turn for Clarice. It is impossible for him not to, especially when the file he had before him was open to information about Pulse. Right now, he isn't really concerned about the words beneath the fat, black strokes of the redacted document.

He stands up, feeling the muscle stretch in his limbs as he tells himself he needs to clear his mind. The past few days has given him so much to think about, so much to worry about that he doesn’t think he can stop.

John couldn’t remember the last time the Underground has had a measure of success. But he has learned to not take the little triumphs for granted, and today’s operation was one of those instances that strengthened his belief that he is doing something important here.

More often than not, it’s easier said than done.

His mind winds back to Gus. The hostility and betrayal that radiated off his best friend was like a sucker punch to his gut. He considers the possibility that might have left him back there to die when he shouldn’t have left his side. They have gone into wars together and he doesn’t want to think about how after everything, Gus could still find a reason to work for their enemy.

He hadn’t been a good friend. And the worst part is him knowing that Gus has a good reason to be working with Sentinel Services.

Gus is just the beginning. He has a feeling deep down that things can only go to hell in a handbasket from here on out. He is aware that with Clarice now being on the run once more, they needed to get her back.

_Because… he needs her._

There was something about her impossibly bright, jadeite gaze that always seems to reel him in. Those cat-like eyes such as they were, conveyed a naïveté and vulnerability that was very unlike her person. She's pretty, in a petite, strange and fascinating way. He doesn't think of her in terms of her physical attributes. Not really.

John wants to redeem himself for what they’ve done. To make things right even when he knows that they will never be the same again. He wants her to know that he would always be sorry for what happened to her.

 _It’s complicated_ , the truth was in the shape of his mouth. Clarice saw that he was too weak to admit that Sonia wasn’t the only woman he cared about. He hasn’t wanted to entertain thoughts that it hadn’t been Sonia for a while now, or that he still craves the attention from her.

The come-hither looks that Sonia always grants him never fails to assure him that the way she feels for him has become a refuge of sorts. And well, when Clarice asked him about the time back in the warehouse, he feels a need to defend his integrity. When he thinks about all the time they’ve spent together, it felt awfully like she was his thing on the side.

But what he badly wants Clarice to know is that the as of yet unnamed feeling in his heart has a chance to grow into something real, honest and strong.

He doesn’t know much about her, but he likes to think that it is a good place to start.

What he knows is that she has been jailed for theft, but he suspects it wasn't her first time resorting to stealing, for food or otherwise. It breaks him a little inside to know that there’s no one she loves more than a warm jelly donut. She has no reason to fight other people’s war but her own. He senses a lot going on in the turbulent depths of her soul but she never tells him anything about it. Sometimes the sardonic mask that she wears fools him, but not always.

Once, out of the corner of his eye, he sees her slouching on one of the couches, with a Nintendo in hand. The old hoodie she was wearing had hid most of her face, but he sees the ghost of a smile as she fiddles with the buttons. She likes playing video games, and he thinks about this bit of knowledge with an unconscious, fond smile.

John could still feel the cotton of her T-shirt and the tension that ebbs off her when he had placed his hand on the small of her back. It lasts a moment longer than he had to but she didn’t call him out on it.

He should have known when the portal opens up before them, swallowing them to safety that it wasn’t her. But the swell of pride he feels when he thinks she took his advice to heart got the better of him. Later, he realizes something has gone terribly wrong when Clarice launches herself into his arms as Sonia looks on knowingly.

He looks at the papers strewn on the floor at the spot where she vanished. Slowly he closes his eyes, his senses reaching out to feel the remnant of her presence. The anger iridescent in her eyes slams into him first, followed by the hurt that clipped her voice for being foolish enough to think that her time in here would last.

John looks to the imprint his fist had left on the reinforced vault door. Fisting his hands, he does his best to curb the emotions running high in him. 

This isn't the best time for him to be out there looking for her with Sentinel Services on their tail. But he couldn't live with himself knowing that he didn't at least try to bring her back. 

_I'll find you._

In the meantime, he needs to come clean with his teammates about why their —his— teleporter left.

 


End file.
